‘You have to find your thing’

The thing that gets you out of bed, keeps you up nights. The thing that’s on your mind constantly. The thing that you dedicate yourself to.

You need to find your passion!

I made nursing my thing. Being big and muscular. Being attractive. Being a lady’s man. Being a landlord. Being a reader. Being a writer. Being in love. Being awakened.

Doing the work!

Mediation. Awareness. Being an actor. Freedom. Love. Being popular. Earning money. Being successful. Doing well in my job.

Everyone needs a thing

Everyone needs a purpose

You can’t not have a purpose

You need to find your thing.

Do well in school. So you can get into a good uni. Do well at uni so you can get a good job. Get a good job so you can get a mortgage in a good house. Get a good house so you can have a good family. Get a good family so you can be a good family man/woman.

Be a good family man/woman because… Just because.

I think everyone should find their thing. Their purpose.

Then they can get to see that their thing won’t bring them lasting happiness. Or much happiness.

Then they can let go of their thing.

And stop for a moment.

Then what?

I don’t know. Maybe find some sanity. But I don’t know for sure.

Anything I’ve ever known has come from my mind.

Anything I’ve ever known has been created by my mind.

Nothing is really a ‘thing’ except in my mind.

Whoah

Even my old spiritual teacher used to say it was good to have a purpose.

Then another teacher says who cares about purpose.

Then I drank down my 9th can of Guinness.

To be fair I’ve tried it all. I’ve tried to make hundreds of things my thing.

Thing = the thing that finally brings happiness that we’re all looking for.

I sat in front of the swimming pool. In our B&B. In Leicester. In between visiting partner’s dad.

I was vaping. I saw a bumble bee flailing on the surface of the water. It span round and round. It was still alive.

In the pool there was also an inflatable flamingo. The wind began to blow flamingo in the direction of the bumblebee. If it reached the bee it would likely squash it. End of days for the bee.

I watched as flamingo got closer to the bee. Eventually it passed over the bee. Then the bee was gone. I continued vaping.

My partner came out for a vape. I decided to swim in the pool. I searched for the bee. I couldn’t find it. It must have died.

Why is life like that?

‘Not saving saving Bee let nature take its course’

‘I am guilty’

‘I am a monster’

‘I don’t care’

All random words that create how I view myself. My choice.

In the end I swam about. Ended up Finding another bee. Rescued it.

Nothing much happened.

Woke up the following morning and found two more bees in the pool. My girlfriend saved them.

Life goes on lifing.

Try this simple exercise

Every conclusion you have about yourself and other people, just give up.

Give up every idea and conclusion about yourself and other people.

Try it for as long as you can. Even a few moments will do. then come back to it throughout the day.

Once you have a glimpse it will be hard to go back fully.

Everything will be fresh.