I don’t tend to ever have my iPhone wallpaper set to a picture of Reese. 

Someone just gave me the idea of putting a picture up that I took of us at the park today in my flat on a large canvas.

The same reasons I can’t see her face on my phone wallpaper every time I look at my phone is the same reason I can’t have a picture of her on a large canvas in my lounge.

I’ve seen her for four hours this week. My long day with her on Saturday starts at 10 and will end at 4 o’ clock, then she’s going away for the rest of the weekend

She constantly talks about him and his kids. In all probability she is probably getting to spend more time with them on a weekly basis than she does with me.

Don’t tell me I’ll always be her daddy. That it can’t ever change. I know that you’re all only trying to help, but thats not the point. And it still hurts me a lot all the same.

 

When will it change? When will she feel like MY daughter again?

 

Who knows. I just hope I can at least make her proud of me with my job and moving forward with humility and integrity.

Thing’s aren’t always what they seem.

Be smart. Bear this in mind.

I will remain quiet. I will focus on achieving what they all said I couldn’t have and trying to make a small difference to others, especially to Reese.

 

I celebrate every day for the incredible gifts that I have been blessed with in my life. The people, the compassion, my amazing job, the love I have for things, my flat, the beach, the energy.. everything. Life is what you make of it, you can be your own heaven or hell.

As I’m waiting to hear news of one life leaving this world again I remind myself that I am still able to put one foot in front of the other and live today. That is why there will be no pain that I feel that I’ll let get the better of me. I’ll be too preoccupied living in the present moment to let anything take precedence over my life.

I do nothing in moderation. If I like something I go after it 100%. 0-100 in a millisecond.

Brain injury recovery is dependent on the type of person you are (Headway ND). If you are willing to fight then you will rehabilitate miraculously. If you want it then go after it,  being fearless of any pain or suffering. That’s been my strategy anyway.

What people think of you is none of your business.

I go after life like a hungry nurse goes after ‘thank you’ chocolates on a long day.