I’ve chosen to not see Reese for a while. The pain in my head is still raging after 4 months with little break.
No television, minimise cognitive demand.
7 years of fighting and I’m running out of funding.
Financial case which determines my ability to live without working is looming.
Government have rejected PIP payments. My capital I’ve been using to live off has almost gone.
I have a potential undiagnosed health condition which is the result of my injury and not helped by my over exertion over the years.
Not epilepsy or dementia…
..although they could be imminent the way I’ve been pushing myself for so long and making my symptoms worse.
I could end this pain and suffering now
If I throw in the towel now my life would be liveable at least and all these facets would be manageable. Perhaps I could maintain human relationships again too.
Throw in the towel and the pain in your head will go away
But it’s not just about becoming a nurse now.
Children learn most from what you are, not what you teach
I have an opportunity to stand on a platform to be who I am and help children and their families.
That’s my ‘Wembley World Cup final’.
It’s also a chance to achieve the impossible.
I know I could end it all if I throw in that towel I mentioned earlier.
But all the pain is worth it to me. And besides, I burnt the towel fucking years ago anyway.