Fin.

It’s never ending.

We’re gonna charge you for the overdraft you took out with us 7 years ago

I took this out when I first started my nursing. They think I’m graduated and should be paying it back. They don’t seem to take my explanation as the truth.

You’ll no longer receive a bursary as your be been receiving it for too long

Fair one. Everyone has an expiry date. I’m like a banana that’s starting to go brown through the eyes of the NHS. Bye bye my number one income.

You’ll no longer receive PIP payments from the government

Then again they’ve been rejecting me this for 6 years, even though it’s my second biggest income, so it’s understandable.

You can no longer have a permit for work. I’ll now need to pay £11 a day to park at work.

TBF I didn’t see this one coming.

I can’t talk about my court case on here.

But I will say that there’s shit loads I have to do to keep on top of this, endless medical reports hundreds of pages long, email after email, foreign reports of the accident, the (alleged) lies being told by foreign professionals under duress, it’s endless. And it’s not easy.

But I’m learning all I can about oncology

It all comes down to this. Can I handle it all and pass my final nursing placement in the summer? We shall see soon enough.

I knew this was all coming

All of this because I want to be a nurse.

Conflict is constant sometimes life hurts

Mum is taking Reese to see Paddington today at the cinema. Reese asked if daddy was going, and I’m desperate to! But I’m fatigued and need to sort out some of the above.

It’s been a journey.

The bruised pictures that I kept for the police from being attacked

The people I’ve lost along the way

The misunderstandings and lies told to my uni about my competence as a nurse

The divorce papers in my cupboard

The pictures of my daughter who I hardly see due to my health

The empty packets of tablets that litter my kitchen

The endless discrimination I face from people every day

The lack of understanding from doctors and people who’s help I need

The emails, the lies, the paperwork, the application forms, the solicitors letters, the delightful prognosis, the financial pressures, constant headaches, the medical interviews, the pending results for further medical conditions, the fact I’m on my final nursing placement, all topped with the intimate and misunderstood relationship I share with my head.

But what’s going on around me isnt important.

What’s going on around us all is just a dream, that’s all it is. What’s inside me and real Is this:

Fin.

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