No regrets

Sometime in 2008

Mum, dad, I don’t know how or when, and I know I’ve promised you I’ll get my life together before and you probably don’t beleive me when I say it, but one day I’ll be the best nurse in England”

Ok, I was 18 and had an ego the size of Neptune when I said this, but I knew I’d found something in nursing that I could never let go of no matter what

Nursing lets me be who I am and feel a type of connection with it’s others that goes far deeper than description on a blog.

But then life happened…

Back in the UK, A few weeks after this picture was taken, I was lying in hospital when a nurse looking after me told me I would no longer be able to work as a nurse (I know I’ve said this before but it is important for the point I am making).

It’s admirable, but not practical. I’m sure there are lots of things you’d be good at.

This was just the start. A few years back I was accused of assault. A police investigation oncovered the truth, but the malicious actions of certain individuals meant that the university decided to put me in front of a panel.

We don’t know whether you have the capability to handle life as a nurse. The board will see you in two months and a decision will be made.

The truth prevailed with that one in the end.

Last year

Final placement time.

‘Mikey. Staff have raised concerns about you. You forget stuff all the time and your obsession with nursing is not realistic. Have you seen a therapist?’

I left the ward devestated. Was this it?

Uni sent me to neonates to see if these comments were true. I left with 4 A*s. I won’t use the D word. But Unconscious bias can be hurtful.

No regrets

I never forgot why I started and what I set out to do. I was different and decided to embrace it. Everyone doubted me but I kept my goal in the present moment and over 10 years after I set out to achieve my impossible dream, it happened.

This blog is not about ego. It’s proof that ANYTHING is possible even when your back is against the wall, your life is a mess and your goal seems so

Smile at people who call you crazy or think you foolish.

Accept and move on from the lies people will create to hurt you.

I’m on the move and can’t look back

The power of attraction is incredible, but life will challenge you to see if you have what it takes to achieve what you wish for.

But this journey has taught me that happiness isn’t in a dream or aspiration.

It’s there anytime I want it. Life lessons can be tough, but there is a gift in every one of them.

Silence is beautiful.

Now my joy comes from living in the present moment. Anything else is just a bonus. Like I’ve written before, sometimes the journey is more important than the destination.

Now let’s end this blog with a picture of me working a shift with makeup on. I lost a bet to a 10 year old patient and told her she could dare me to do anything and I’d do it. Rookie mistake.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s