11am, Poole hospital, 2012
A knock at my hospital door woke me up, I couldn’t go more than 3 hours without a sleep at this point.
Damn brain haemorrhages
An older nurse walked in.
‘Hi, my name is Jackie. You’re the student nurse right?’
She seemed to bark that phrase more than speak it. I could barely raise my head.
I wasn’t tied to the bed like I was in Mexico, so that was a plus
I told her that I was ‘the’ student nurse in question.
‘When can I go back to uni?’ I asked timidly.
‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about’ she’d said.
This ought to be good
‘As amazing as we think you are about your passion for nursing, I’m here today to tell you that it will no longer be possible for you to study nursing’
The words hit me like a ton of bricks
‘Your determination is admirable. There are so many more jobs you would be great at! Just not the nursing anymore’
I was never angry at this
I learned to Never let your inner being be affected by by your circumstances.
As the years passed by I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with my dream.
Most people doubted me. Very few encouraged me.
Taoism teaches that you should be watchful of your ‘dreams’, as they can become detrimental to your being.
I’ve watered this dream since I was 18. I’m now 28. But finally my dream seems to have blossomed.
For years I was dissuaded. For years I pushed my body, my symptoms exacerbated. Once or twice I thought Jacky might’ve had a point.
A severe head injury and 7 years later, it happened. Thank you to everyone who’s read this blog and kept in touch, thank you to those in other countries who lit a candle for me in a coma. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. We all did it together.
Thank you to all of you for supporting me!
But I couldn’t have done it without the support. So thank you so much to those who deserve it (and also to those who don’t, no hate here) 🙂
I’ve so many more challenges ahead of me. I’ll have to stay so disciplined and focus on so much, it won’t be easy but as always, I’ll give it my best!