Baby steps

I’ve finished my first week as a nurse!

It feels amazing

But I won’t lie, I’m worried about how tired I’m feeling right now.

I don’t have neuro fatigue, it’s exhaustion. They are two very different symptoms. So no headache or vertigo is a plus

I can’t tell you how great it is to be part of something again, I just love being around good nurses and being able to help people out where I can.

And yet I feel worried!

Ridiculous I know, but I really do enjoy it so much, the idea of not being able to do it because of my symptoms is not a nice idea.

Everything I do outside of my job is finely tuned to such a point which enables me to be able to do my job

Regardless of how I feel, every night I’m in bed at half 7. My doctor has agreed that I take a zopiclone before my first shift, melatonin for my second (to prevent the zopiclone from becoming less effective) and a zopiclone for my third. With Amitryptaline every night. Valium 3x weekly.

My diet, my lifestyle and even the time I allow myself to see my daughter is thought out and finely tuned

So now I need to plan my second week and tweak the regiment A tad to stop myself feeling so tired.

So yes, the fear of failing because of my symptoms has always been there, and maybe it always will

But it motivates me to keep to the plan and stay as disciplined as possible.

Even if it means it’s practically impossible to have relationships outside my family

But it’s the choice I’ve made and it’s what I’ve fought for for so many years. Nursing with a head injury for me is Just like the SAS: it’s hard to get in, but it’s even harder to stay in.

First week of work in 7 years done! Baby steps..!

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