I have been unemployed for 7 years now. But In two days I will start my first job after sustaining my brain injury, which was back in 2012. It’s been one hell of a journey, and as I’ve said before, I’ve found a lot of irony in saying that this journey, as unbelievable as it may sounded to others, was far more important than the destination.
Waking up from a coma in the UK when your last memory was being on your honeymoon was certainly a good place to start
I started again from the very beginning. I learned to do everything again; from walking to eating food without choking on it to even remembering something that your mum told you only 5 minutes before.
I tried to come back to nursing too early. A year after a head injury is nothing! And boy I learned that the hard way.
My daughter was finally born. It was a traumatic birth and very touch and go. 9 months after my accident, the birth pushed me over the edge and the delights of severe PTSD started to plague my life. Poor management of PTSD was the main reason I had to leave my course after returning to it only a year after my accident.
But when I did finally return to my nursing studies, things started to go very wrong indeed.
First, we lost my mother in law (excuse the picture quality)
Shortly after we lost Julie under very tragic circumstances, my marriage fell apart. Whether it was meant to be or not, when you truly loved someone it is a tough old nut to crack. But sometimes in life you just have to do things for the best whether you like them or not.
Around the time I was living out a suitcase, staying in hotels all round Bournemouth and whilst barely managing to keep my head afloat during my second nursing placement, we watched my grandma pass away.
We also lost my ex wife’s grandad, AKA Pop.
So after the split up I moved into accommodation which belonged a couple and rented a room off of them whilst I finished my nursing placement. This turned out to be a mistake.
She turned out to be a frequent drug user and alcoholic. After she decided to attack me one night, she thought it’d be a good idea to call the police and make up false allegations. Her and her partner were fortunately overruled by their niece, who saw the whole thing and told the police the truth, despite coercion form her family. I waited all through christmas to be interviewed under caution at the local popo station.
If she’d have lied to the police as she was asked to do by her aunt, I would never have been allowed to work with kids again
But alas, there is nothing worse than a scorned woman seeking revenge. After she tried and failed to get me locked up she told my uni that I was aggressive around children, which of course they took seriously. After 3 months of fighting I finally proved my innocence and moved on with my training.
We’re only at placement three now
I’ve seen lots of people die over the years.
I’ve felt the pain of being separated from my daughter
(This one hurt quite a bit).
But I’m starting to feel too drowsy now from the meds, so I’ll leave the story there. I’d be here all night if I intended to include everything that has been going on. And for legal reasons I can’t disclose certain parts of it anyway.
I guess the reason I wanted to sum these last few years up in a blog is because I think it’s important not to give up on your dreams. During your darkest moments when you can’t even remember why you’re still even fighting, you need to remember who you are and why you started.
All the things you’re going through is just life preparing you for what you asked for
Use the pain and use the hurt you go through everyday to give you that edge. I was told I could never be a nurse and with all the other challenges that kept presenting themselves over so many years, I was starting to believe it…
…but the trick is to never let that be the final answer.
Remember, this is your life…
…and you have to live it the way you want to live it, not how others say you should live it. I would go through it all time and time gain just to get a chance to do what Robin Williams is doing in the picture below. And ridiculously enough, they want to pay me to do it!