Catastrophising

Catastrophising feels like you’re living in your worst nightmare that you can’t really explain with words.

You could use the word ‘anxiety’ to describe it

But I’ve felt anxiety Before and this feels much worse. My consultant first told me about ‘catatrophising’ 7 years ago after the accident.

It’s like having a panic attack

It’s horrible. Your heart races and you feel an impending sense of doom, or ‘catastrophe’ and it loomes larger until the wave of panic eventually subsides.

I don’t know what to do

I thought once I became a qualified nurse it might get better, but I’ve had some challenging days at work lately and it seems to be happening more.

This blog is about transparency

It’s fair to say that for the most part I feel I am a calm person, not much gets me excited and I take life with a pinch of salt. But sometimes it appears my new brain doesn’t seem to like me being so ‘cool’.

This isn’t ‘me’, it’s my head which has taken a bit of a battering over the years

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you’re physically capable of. Maybe you can pull off the miracle of achieving something numerous professionals told you you couldn’t ever achieve.

Then again Maybe they said it for a reason

Perhaps you can fool yourself into believing you can achieve things but you can’t undamage your brain. No amount of willpower can achieve that.

I don’t know the answer,

I’m just trying to work through this the only way I know how: through honesty and meditation. No one has the manual to life let alone brain injury life.

The worse part is that no one can ever really understand what you’re talking about. I don’t understand it at the best of times what chance do other people have?

Whether it’s anxiety; depression, social anxiety, epilepsy, crohns, autism, heart issues, kidney issues, brain issues, liver issues or whatever issues: we are all human and our health can throw up all sorts of issues that we all share similarly.

We label some of these shared issues as ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’, to name a few

That’s not to say we don’t feel lonely when we experience them. But maybe talking about it is the first step?

Or perhaps I’m just trying to justify why I’m rambling right now. One thing I do know is that I’m not alone in feeling like this. I’ve learned through people reaching out to me after reading my blogs that In some way shape or form, there are people out there who may have experienced something similar to me, if not the same.

But I believe writing and being open about what life is like after a brain injury is important, not just for me but for everyone else too, whether they have had a brain injury or not.

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