I’m literally typing into my laptop here with absolutely no plan whatsoever on what I’m going to write. I’m feeling grateful for things, as I often do. I love the fact I have everything in my life that I do and my daughter is happy and healthy. So I just fancied seeing what comes out when I start to write.

Sometimes it’s good to just do this. Not every blog of mine has an agenda. They’re just ramblings of a lunatic mostly.

I don’t feel much emotion.  It’s nice meeting new people and getting to know them, you learn a lot from people. And I think with each encounter in your life there’s always something you can learn from them and use to grow as a person.

A big symptom of brain injury is emotional numbness

I feel things when I’m looking after people at work, I think that’s a weird sort of love. I feel laughter, I feel sadness and anger. I feel good at the gym. I feel relaxation, I feel determination and passion. But I haven’t felt fear since my accident, which is peculiar to me. I don’t feel other’s considerations of me, hence why embarrassment has been largely absent.

I just read one of those picture quotes you see posted up on Facebook, I think that’s what prompted me to write a short blog tonight.

There’s nothing more important than to love and be loved.

That’s what I use everyday. Maybe that’s why I smile a lot, but there is so much to be thankful for. And to be in a position where I can make people smile who need it most, that is a real blessing. I love that and always will.

Love

Such a thrown about term. I mean it in the sense that I’m not sure you will understand, not even sure if I do. I love to look after people, I love to make people laugh, I love interacting with people, I love being part of something everyday. I love embarrassing myself to make others laugh, thats one of the big ones.

Life is what you make of it. I could sit here and express sadness over the fact my decree for divorce has had a court date set, but that my ongoing legal claim (4 years) has not had a court date set. My divorce paper reads:

It has been proved there is a breakdown in the marriage and the respondent (me) has been proved to demonstrate unreasonable behaviour leading to this.

My unreasonable behaviour….

… a change in personality due to severe head trauma. 

The ‘old’ Mikey…

….The ‘new’ Mikey….

Hey, no hard feelings. Honestly. I know I’m not to everyone’s taste and I was pretty great.

However, despite these two terms being thrown at me constantly over the past four years, some things will never change. The things that I like to think matter.