Playing for England

And Just like with my nursing, I’ll die before I say no to that.

A pretty dramatic ending to my last blog. It was almost certainly the reason it got another 50 or so views, but as soon as I’d published it I knew that I’d probably tempted fate with that one.  What a numpty.

dickhead 2

As with most things in life, but particularly after having suffered a severe head injury, it is important to know your limitations, otherwise you could make things a lot worse for yourself. And believe me I’ve learned that logic the hard way!

As I mentioned before, the staff at my uni had gone through a lot of effort by cancelling the mandatory two students to represent them up at Westminster Abbey in order for me to attend and stay up there overnight.

However, after speaking with my mum some more about it, a one night stay in London just wasn’t going to be enough. After I told the uni this a couple of weeks ago, they still pushed for more funding. Unfortunately I found out today that they won’t be able to.

Attending a prestigious event in Westminster which finishes at 8pm and then traveling back to Bournemouth in the same day with a TBI isn’t noble, it’s stupid.

Even without a brain injury that would be tiring!

But it’s all good

Of course I’m disappointed. If going to work everyday is like playing for England at Wembley then this would have been the world cup final! However, if you get to play for England that is amazing enough, the world cup final is just a bonus.

A few years ago I had a GCS of 5. I had injuries so severe that doctors didn’t even know if I’d make a recovery.

And yet here I am about to achieve my all time dream of becoming a fully qualified nurse, so how can I really be too upset about this?  As I said to the dean of my uni today, we are so lucky with our cohort as we have so many amazing people/nurses there’ll be plenty of other fantastic candidates to choose from, most of which who would probably do a much better job than I could anyway!

I have the stamina of a hungover 80 year-old tortoise with a sprained ankle.

tortoise.jpg

Besides, it’s on day’s like today after uni lectures that I realise just how much I struggle with fatigue, even when it’s not expected. ‘Spontaneous fatigue’ if you like.

I’ve had quite a few people question my rationale for living on my own with no interest in starting a relationship lately, and the answer is just too complicated I don’t even bother to try and explain.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I loved more than treating someone who I really cared for to everything I can and spending time with them doing soppy stuff.

But after days like today, when I need to be on my own and do my own thing in a quiet and dark room remind me of why I have chosen to live like this.

Giving it my all in other areas of my life mean that I don’t have much capacity left when I get home.

But I’d rather play for England (that’s my metaphor for working as a nurse for those who are relatively new to my blogs) than be in a relationship just for the sake of it. Ok I might not be qualifying for another year after my classmates, but that’s only a drama if you make it one. As always, I’m relaxed and just going with the journey, with a smile on my face the whole time, because life is too damn short.

Relax

Who knows, I might even be lucky enough to get another chance to do something like this in the future. But look, I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never really given a shit about the world cup. All I want is to go to work with my invisible squeaker and see what happens when I make even less of an effort with my filter than I usually do.

 

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