The last push

These two questions will be answered next month:

Will I qualify as a nurse?

Will we win the case if it goes to court?

The power of attraction has meant that these two major life events occur in the same week, of the same month, of the same year. Only 3 days apart.

I don’t want to talk or socialise. I don’t want to debate or discuss, for the past 5 months I have only wanted to be alone.

I don’t fight what I feel, I just live whatever emotion I am experiencing in its totality.

Only the person who experiences anger in its totality knows true compassion

Why fight or try to work out why you’re feeling a certain way? We’re all human, emotions happen. Embrace it, regardless of the emotion or your opinion of it.

Only the person who experiences sadness in its complete and utter totality can know bliss

Anger, love, hate, happiness, anxiety, depression.. they are all part of the same energy. It just depends on how we translate or channel the energy at the given time as to how we will choose to label it.

I feel like I’ve given a part of me to get this far and to know it could all come crashing down is a sobering thought.

Before I started this I knew I’d have to be content with feeling sad, lonely and scared for a long time.

I took this fight on knowing it would push me beyond my limits.

I’ve changed during this journey, I found my true self. That on its own has made it worthwhile.

Nothing is impossible. Impossible is a word, words have been created by us. But conscious actions can destroy words like ‘impossible’ and prove that they have no existential relevance whatsoever.

I will stop this when I am a qualified nurse or I am told I am no longer eligible to try. Between now and then, I’m happy to go a few more rounds.

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